"You know, someone asked me how my hair gets so messy since somebody else said I add lots of gel."
"Hmm, and what did you say?"
Your hands weaved through David's hair, pulling lightly as you wanted more of his attention. Your back was to the wall, his body hovering before yours, his lips hesitating over yours, wanting to finish his story.
"I just smiled and remembered you pulling on my hair, your lips on mine and-"
"Then you can stop remembering." You pushed his head forward and his smile vanished as he kissed you deeply. His head tilted slightly, his hands softly on your hips for a few moments before they slipped higher and behind you. He pulled you into his arms, as close as he could without making the kiss awkward.
His mouth tasted of mint and gum, a long and languid kiss making you loosen your grip enough to stop restraining his head, but not enough to let him go. It was times like these where you were at your greatest inner conflict. He was sincerely yours, the way his lips pushed past yours and his hand stroked down your back was proof. But he was also an actor who had a large fan base. And every time a cute magazine reporter came to interview him you got a white hot pain in your heart.
Could this truly last? Without him finding someone better, without him realizing prettier women were out there and willing to kill for him. Was this a real relationships or your desperate attempts to hold onto him? He could do better than you, but you afraid the same could not be said in reverse for you.
He pulled away from your kisses- he was always the one to- and then rested his forehead against your neck, arching his neck forward and his breath playing on your neck in a bashful attempt to hide his fluster around you. There was a shout from someone that everybody had to be on set, and David slowly stood up, hands lingering on your shoulders.
"Do you want to come with me to see? Or will that spoil it for you?"
"This isn't Doctor Who, so I think I can watch without ruining my next friday."
David's smile could light up the world, that brilliant little shake of his head he always did in his role as the doctor, corners of his eyes creasing with the smile. All those little quirks, the way he rolled on the way he said 'well' or repeated one word again and again like 'what?' when confused, that wasn't in the script. No, that was him. And you loved them all.
David quickly bounded off with you onto the set, where a women quickly re-gelled his hair much to her disdain. David merely bounced on his heels once finished and with a dash of energy took his place on the set. He then spun around once or twice, drawing a neutral expression, then one of heavy pain.
As the director shouted 'action', David looked like he was going to cry. This close, not before a TV screen, it seemed so real. One look around would make you see people with clipboards and cameras, ensuring you it was all fake, like turning on the lights when having a nightmare. But David was looking straight at you, with an expression befitting if you were dying. It chilled you, even more so when he hugged the leading lady and kissed her, that half-transformed expression flickering to the camera situated a bit before you. But his eyes seemed to bore into you.
He was truly amazing at his job, all actors were. You supposed perhaps that was your inability to act falsely, but nevertheless it was truly a feat. The way David collapsed back on a chair, dagger in his hand. The way he fingered it then looked like maybe he should stab himself with it. The rage with took him as he broke out in a monologue, the crashing mirror he threw down and his panting. The anger and tears which came from him. It looked like he destroyed the set, though each item he was to break or move had been already planned.
And when he stopped, a panting mess full of false anger, eyes wide and smile utterly crazed, you almost cried. You didn't say anything or make too obvious of signs of your discomfort, you could act mature and calm. The scene was called to cut and someone raced on set to wipe David's face off before reapplying some makeup. His face was slack now, and dull of all emotions. The makeup artist would lightly slap his arm at each wincing or movement he made. No emotions was mandatory. His fingers wiggled at you in a small wave and you smiled and waved back. He smiled before the lady smacked his arm. David pouted for a moment before being pushed back to the starting position.
Thankfully, that scene didn't have to be played through again. The next two hours was a scene between the other characters, David sitting down nearby with someone else and sipping out of a glass. Whenever they messed up their lines and burst out laughing David would join in. He scolded them lightly in his scottish accent to behave and they got the message once he pointed out he had other things he could have been doing- and his finger lingered on past his voice to point at you.
Joking looks and sly winks were passed around before the scene was retried. It took three more attempts before the director declared it was good enough for now. He'd sit down with all the scenes and see if anything more had to be filmed or redone at this particular location. If not, it would be sleep then a new location the next day.
David sat beside you, pulling up a chair from against a wall and turning it to face you. He took your hand and held it in his usual soft and comforting grip. "Did it scare you? The acting? If it does, you don't have to be here. Sometimes I think your imagination runs away with you."
"A little... Only because you're such a good actor."
You gave a smile with the intent the subject would be dropped, but it wasn't. David didn't take to any flattery and stood up, pulling you with him.
"You should go home and get some sleep."
"If you say so-"
"Unless you want to stay here. What do you want to do?"
David slowly put a hand on your chin and made you face him. He waited for your response, and you shrugged. That wasn't what he wanted to see.
"Sometimes I wonder about you. And I worry. I'm not implying anything here, I still love you dearly... But, nevertheless, I need you to stop doing all I say. It's like you're scared of me getting mad and breaking up with you, but I can't if we're not in a proper relationship to begin with."
The words stunned you, it took you longer than it should have for you to think about their meaning. You then numbly let go of his hand and turned to grab your jacket off the chair. You slipped it on- David helping you as he always did. He then took your arm in his and led you to your car, silence filling the air like a thunderous storm. It seemed so powerful, the fact he was mute and you couldn't figure out if he was upset with you or not.
You had simply not wanted to lose him, and that may be the reason why you could lose him.
"David, I just... Wanted to be good enough for you. You're an actor and so many people would be willing to date you, I wanted... to compete with all of them."
David opened your car door and kept his head bowed for a few moments. You got in silently before he dipped inside enough to kiss the top of your head.
"I just want you, and you have no competition. You've already won."
But you had to wonder about his words. Did he know that leading lady was giving him looks out of the corner of his eyes? Did he know a women behind a camera was following his movements off set?
David saw the fact you didn't move and climbed in beside you. He then pulled you into his arms, sitting there with the doors open and his feet on the dashboard. You were thinking hard, playing with his hand which he held open for you, all like a baby discovering new things. It was a calm silence, familiarity and comfortableness mixing together.
You mind stumbled away from your thoughts, instead holding his hand close to your chest. The feeling he'd run away was always there, and you wondered if the relationship was asymmetric, at times you felt like a monomaniac towards him. You tried to stop it though, to let go of his hand and smile before yawning and laying on him. He looked truly happy at your change of emotions, even though you half forced yourself into them.
You had to stop worrying about the future, and live in the moment. And David promised himself he'd help you find those moments.